I am tired of feeling incompetent. I am tired of realizing that the perfect girl/friend I strive to be is unattainable. I am tired of trying so damn hard - at looking cute, at being funny, at discovering the right balance of dorky and cool - without any of it being noticed. I am tired of the sleepless nights I stare awake at my ceiling, tears streaking down my face wondering if these thoughts will ever go away. I am tired of fighting for you.. for me… for US. I am tired of the hurt; the hurt that pierces so fucking deep I can no longer love because I am so numb. I am tired of blowing my nose and piling the tissues into neat little pyramids on my desk, the only small insignificant conquest that I have complete control over in this given moment, or so it seems. I am tired of arguments via pixelated digital renditions of one another. I am tired of my past haunting me. I am tired of the hypocrisy. I am tired of the unspoken judgment surpassed after every movement, every decision. I am tired. Goodnight.