how fucking beautiful is this? love you two and i hope you make beautiful happa babies soon. xx
He told me he was in love with me at a drag show in Portland. He was slightly drunk, his eyes glazed over with a happy sloppy smile plastered his face. His aunt had ordered me a drink but demanded the bartender to make it ‘light’. She knew my aversion to alcohol, or rather my body’s extreme intolerance of it. I’m not sure the bartender listened to her because I felt a light buzz float around my head like a halo.
The lights were bright. The strobe lights streaming each and every way, making the atmosphere gaudy and glorious. Cheesy 80’s and 90’s power ballads pulsated through the bar and into the crowd, people jeered and clapped in unison as these strong, amazon women danced on stage. Their bejeweled gowns and shimmered skin caught the reflections of the strobe lights, and they glowed. They glowed like fucking stars and if you looked close enough, you could see the caked on make up sweat on their upper lip. They were amazing and strangely beautiful. They almost seemed untouchable.
‘I need to tell you something’ He said. I took a sip of my drink. I could barely hear him over the music. ‘I think I’m in love with you.’ Deep down, I knew that there was a good chance he was in love with me. It was palpable between us, and I knew it without either of us even having to say it. But he said it anyway. A declaration. And what I remember the most was how shy and thrilled he was to tell me. I could see the flush in his cheeks even with the flashing lights. He was pink.
We have both had our unfortunate relationships in the past with liars, the selfish, the cruel and the downright bad. And as most people who get let down by the ‘definition’ of how a relationship is supposed to be, it clings to you like a second-skin. Unflinchingly and wickedly. Loving someone is a cruel gamble. You give more than you take, and you offer more than what you really have. You give in. But sometimes I catch his reflection, or I catch him in the corner of my eye and I’m realizing what I’m so grateful for.
A chance to prove the past wrong and that being a hopeless romantic will never be a bad thing. Ever.