These are the stories that make me love New York, and these are the friends that I’ve been blessed to make. Heartbroken at the moment, but excited to go back and have waffle cones with this gal.

notebooknumberfour:

Today was stupid hot. Viv and I decided we’d go pooling and made our way, pretty late in the day to Double D pool. All I wanted was to swim a couple of laps and be cold. All I wanted was to be cold. That’s it. Cool down. Cool off. Be Cold.

We get to the pool but no one is inside of it, everyone is standing out side of the gate, countless people are leaving and we ask what the deal is. “Someone threw up in the pool, they have to clean it.” And that’s when I hit a low. I was hot. Hot and cranky and hungry.

So we walked back to Viv’s apartment and decided to chill on her stoop. Which was incredible. It was breezy. We had pulpy OJ and some Tyrrell’s sweet chilli (yes, two L’s) and red pepper chips (these aren’t 99 cent Utz, which I love and all but these, these are rich chips), watched kids play on her block and said hello to people who passed by. Then we went up to her roof, which was juuuust magical. We stared at Brooklyn from one side and looked at the Manhattan skyline from the other. It was cool, the view was insane and all we could keep saying is “THIS IS REAL LIFE.” We made our way to some BOMB dinner, but on the way, stumbled upon Milk Bar !!! Compost cookie, Blueberry + cream cookie, Cereal Milk soft serve with cornflakes and B’Day cake truffles were had. And then to end it all, we went back up to the roof and talked about how insane life can be, how hard it can be, but at the same time how wonderful it is. How good God is, how He never gives us more than we can handle and how we want to try and trust Him in the now instead of always in hindsight.

Life and the plans we make are a lot like wanting to go to the Double D pool. Sure, it seems like a great idea, but when things don’t work out, we get disappointed. Disappointed that we can’t swim in a pool with potential throw up floating around. When God’s got stoop/rooftop chillin, amazing dinner, Milk Bar cereal milk soft serve and watching the moon move through the purple sky all planned out already.

:)

Jeremiah 29:11-13

11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. 13 You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.

cheynesaw:

If you love something, set it free; if it comes backs it’s yours, if it doesn’t, it never was.

timing never was his forte. and patience was far from mine. together it was a recipe for disaster, but somehow we prevailed. we built our friendship on a foundation of awkwardness and drunken encounters that could dive no further down the road of humiliation than it had in the first week we knew each other. together we found solace in each other’s craziness, in each other’s oddness and in our shared drive for perfection. we were two strangers, united by lust and the unspoken need for companionship. i would always say: the road to the top is a lonely one. and he would always finish: and it’s even lonelier when you get up there. we lost touch when i fell in love; not by accident, but purposefully. how could i include him in my life knowing full well that my knees would buckle at a single call or text? we drifted apart, but never far.

S I L E N C E

… for the last four months i’ve tried to write what’s on my mind and in my heart, and every time i remotely take pen to paper, i start crying uncontrollably. fuck. make the hurt stop already.

“I want you to miss me. I want you to recognize me in your morning cereal and the voice of your favorite singer. I want you to wonder where I am when your fingers are stretched beneath your waistband, when you’re lighting up, when you’re tripping up the uneven step on your basement stairs. I want you to think of me when you look into your teacup and your rearview mirror. I want you.”

— Camryn Pulaski Day (via atomos)