the one

he makes me feel a way no one else ever has. three years and change later, nothing’s changed. it is the same comfortable, casual, understanding yet electric and exciting connection we’ve always had. it’s always been him, maybe it always will be. maybe i’m going to end up moving back to los angeles after all…

loving unconditionally

he told me he loved me unconditionally – without fear and without consequence. he said that regardless of wealth or success, health or security, he would always love me and want to be with me. we drove in silence for a minute as i inhaled and tried to grasp what he had just said. i held my breath as long as possible… as if to freeze that moment in time for all eternity. it was the second time he’d said he loved me. when i finally exhaled, we were two blocks down the road and my head buzzed from lack of oxygen. i realized then that i didn’t know how to love the way he could. i had expectations, fears, consequences and conditions. i wanted to whisper that i loved him too, that i wanted to share my world with him but it felt so fake in light of what he said. it felt so tainted. instead, i asked him how. i asked him to show me how to love so freely. to teach me how to give without needing something in return. and so, our journey began…